Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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