Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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