By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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