Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
