omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
