I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
