don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
