She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
