FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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