its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
