Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
