Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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