the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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