Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
