this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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