Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
