you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
