its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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