just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
