When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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