I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
