The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
