After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
