Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
