Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
