K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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