Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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