Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
