You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
