You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
