Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
