so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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