I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
