dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I love you. Go after that dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
