nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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