i may or may not be watching the land before time
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
