Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
