i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
