If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
