When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
