We won't sleep together?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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