when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Drunk is not a location!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
