It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
