Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I deserve this hangover.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
