Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
