is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
