ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
