so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
