Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
