normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
