Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
