he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
