Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
